Here is a very short collection of posts from when I was in Uganda. I could not be bothered to keep correcting my spelling and grammar in these old posts. So I apologize now for all the mistakes.

It Tastes Like Paint

I’m definitely having a blast here and loving the work I’m doing with my kids. I got some of the girls playing full court basketball last night after school. *sniff* that was a HUGE step for them. And some of them even began to understand if you pick up your dribble you don’t get to dribble again. But there was a majority of the girls who thought the second the ball got passed to them that they had to start dribbling. They didn’t understand you could catch and then choose to dribble. I had to play in the game too because there is one girl Ester who is 13 and about 5’9″ or so. And in Uganda that is VERY tall much less for a 13 year old. But she was doing pretty well, she is very aggressive and she started getting the idea of a box out. It is too bad they have no where to really play basketball. The kids were lining up to watch me do around the world from only about 20 feet out. It took me awhile to get the hang of where to shoot. I had alot of air balls in the beginning, because the hope has no backboard and can be what ever height they want. It was alot of fun to watch them understand how basketball is played. Its too bad we are playing with a soccer ball. And I have very little money so I can’t buy them one.For my performing arts class this new teacher, Echo, we are going to have the kids do Noah’s Ark. It will be the first play this school has ever done so they might have the parents come. It is pretty exciting. Yesterday we had the kids doing the Catwalk but with different animals. Very exciting to watch them think for themselves. With another class we just did the regular kind of catwalk, with Dancing, that was classic. I also taught them the Mary Catherine Gallagher “Superstar” and when the other teachers had kids running up to them yelling super star they all would look at me and I was like, “I’ll teach them what I want!!!!!” Two days ago Grace and I pretty much had a break down over how bad our hair is and missing chocolate. Everyone was cracking up like we were joking but we were dead serious. Our hair is taking it far and away the worst here.I have to wash myself out of a bucket, so you never really feel that clean. Also, Grace and I despite not being here for too long are already getting Chocolate withdrawls. Because Choclate made in America or Europe is Hella expensive, and Grace and I are the poorest ones here. However, they do make a chocolate in Kenya and it is really gross.   I am considered like miss optimist so when Grace and I were going on about our hair everyone was like this is so unCarol. I just smiled and was like you haveno idea. OH it was classic the other night Rev. Jim gave us a lecture on how we need to keep the bathroom clean, even though only one girl who lived where the messy bathroom is at was at dinner. And then he went on to go, “And I know you American’s are not big on showers. I went and stayed with an American in America. And I asked him should we go take a shower. And he said no need for one and wiped himself off with a napkin. So I know you Americans are not clean people who wash themselves off. But you are in Uganda and people here keep themsleves clean.” ……….Cricket Noise…..cricket Noise…… cricket noise………All of us Americans were in complete shock. We are all considerably cleaner than alot of the people here and it is very hard for us to even stay clean here. And once he left were were all like Where the hell did he go in America? I mean even people in Texas and Appalacia don’t just use napkins. All the Candians, Brits, the Aussie and the Japanese girl were like well he wasn’t talking to us. So of course now whenever someone says they are going to go clean up we all have to throw napkins at each other. Its cool cuz the volunteers are from all over and we have hard core christains, and a muslim couple, catholics, and jews. It is funny cuz no one is PC and we are all totally different. We were like you couldn’t have done better casting for the real world if you tried. I’m pretty much the least PC of everyone, but then the people I hang out with the most are Kanayo from Japan, Farhan and Alia who are the Muslim boyfreind and girlfriend from Canada. They each have alot of family here so they were killing Grace and I telling us about the mansions they get to stay in on weekends. But they are still dope. There is a new boy from Mexico that I have beomce really good friends with.   Inigo bought  Orange Juice this morning and I asked him how it was and he replied, It is really artificial it tastes like Paint. Very cool cat. Most of my skirts have been ripping from my falling down hills and in hardcore games of duck, duck, goose. And also trying to catch the matutus(Buses). I think I’m the most banged up of all the volunteers. THis weekend I’ll prolly get even more banged up. I’m going White Water rafting down the Nile on Sunday. I’m going with Kanayo, Farhan, Alia, Inigo, and Echo….Haahahahahaha And my name is Carol so tell me out of that group which name doesn’t belong. But it should be totally cool. The instructors are all a bunch of crazy Kiwis and stuff I guess and most are class 5 we were watching the video from people who went this weekend, it looks like it will be awesome. This is Echos first time away from home so we are making her suck it up and make herself get over her fears. And on Saturday I’m going to Uganda Vs. South Africa. should be alot of fun. I love watching soccer/football.:)

So this one time I was swimming in the Nile…

So Rafting the Nile was on Saturday. IT WAS AMAZING!!!!!! No matter what I write about it it won’t describe the expeience I had. I ended up going with Kanayo, Farhan, Echo, Alia, and David. We had to do a last minute replcement of Inigo cuzhe went to some Island in Lake Victoria without telling us!!! But David wasn’t as bad as we had for seen him being, although, he did push me out of the raft on a class five. But more about that in a bit. So on the bus ride to the Nile there was this CRAZY Kiwi guy named Shane giving us all of our insturctions about what will happen once we get to the Nile. I had a feeling he would end up our guide and you wanna know something…. He totally was! He was awesome though, very energetic and obviously loves what he is doing. I got hurt on the practice flip before we even got anywhere near a rapid. Farhan fell on me when we did a practice. like literally right on my head…. Good thing we all were wearing helmuts. We had 4 CLass fiverapids. With a Bunch of 3s and 4s. We all ignored the wishes of Echo and decided we were going to be hardcore and try to hit all the hardest rapids and everything. On the very first Class five we were going to try to hit the “G Spot” on it. And we most defiantly hit it! But when we hit it David and I were in the very front and he punched me at the same ime I seemed to lose my balance and we hit the “G Spot”. So needless to say… I fell out. But Still had my oar and was holding onto the boat like we were told to do. But I got kinda caught under the boat and it just kept pushing me further and further under. so I just let go and rode my oar like it was a witch’s broom. It was pretty cool and I eventually got picked up by the saftyboat. I guess Alia had been thrown out too but she held on I didn’t even know I wasn’t the only one till after the fact. The second class five we rode in sideways and I totally thought we were going to flip but we came out fine. After the first two class fives we were the only ones not to flip. And we kinda wanted to.In the very begining we had alot of rapids relly quick and then the second half we had some defiant down time, where we were just floating down the Nile looking at all the beautiful sights. I wish I coulda brought my camera on the boat. Some defiant NG type pics. Like we floated past fisherman and everything and women washing their clothes. We saw Crocodiles early on and then never saw any when we were just floating. It was cool though because we were able to jump out and go for a swim in the water. We all were looking at each other while we were swimming and were like, “Do you realize we are going for swim down the Nile? This is Awesome!!!” It was cool because there were three other rafts with us, and it was people from all over the world. I believe the few of us that were Americans in my boat wer the only AMericans. There was an Irish boat that was getting brighter and brighter red every time we saw them. I kept picking on them everytime we saw them, “Oh the wee boat, full of wee Lepruchans. I-diddly-dee-dee-dee” All in good fun. After all this floating and good fun we hit another class 5 rapid. This one we were ment to flip….. But we didn’t. We hit it exactly in the right place literally our raft went veritcal straight up into the air I was falling back on Farhan and then……. We just came down and rafted through the rest of the rapids. I saw David next to me, felt Farhanbehind me, then saw Echo out of the corner of my eye and was like, OMG we made it. We were about to do our oar high five when Farhan asked, “Where’s Alia?” We all turn around the whole back half of our boat had been thrown out. There was no Kanayo, ALia, or Shane. Everyone else went t pull Alia and Kanayo back in the raft, and Shane came swimming up to me so I was like, “I got your vest!!!!! I’ll pull ya in!!!!” And he just grinned at me and brushed me off and pulled himself into the boat. I really was trying to be helpful. So we had done no flipping. As David put it, “Dang us for just being to darn compitent” After that we went through some fours and had to get out and walk the rafts around this crazy CLass 6. And then you had the option of getting back in to do this CLass 5 that is barely missing being like a class 6. It is called the Bad Place. Alia and Echo opted not to go. Us other 4 were like we paid to do this and we are going to get our moneys worth. And we wanted to flip just once. It was crazy….. All I remember is this wall of white bubbles and then not knowing where I was up, down, whatever. Then I got kicked in the head by Frahan and assumed we were flipped, so I let go of the rope, did the witch’s broom thing again and I fianlly settled down and came to the surfice, looked around and saw I head been sept the farthest, but I located Kanayo, Farhan and David, Then saw Shane riding on top of the flipped raft like he was a cowboy. After wards we went up to the bus got changed took a couple pics and enjoyed comparing stories with the other rafters.

Did you know Honey is an Antiseptic?

So ya, I wouldn’t be Carol Bontekoe if I didn’t receive some kind of injury and If I didn’t get sick. And I’m in Africa so of course I had my first hospital visit today. Right before I went in the Nile to go Rafting I got a cut on my foot. I didn’t even notice till Farhan pointed out it was bleeding. I didn’t worry about it at the time and havebeen cleaning it out ever since. But the past couple of days the infection spread or something, maybe just got a new infection on my on on the toe right next to it. So I haven’t really been able to walk for the past couple of days. And last night Peace, one of the workers at the compound and James got in a fight over my foot. James is pretty much a very jitter medical student from the U.K. and Peace is like very, very, protective of me. So when James would poke at it and I would wince in Pain, Peace would just put her hand in frnt of him and not let him touch it. But it pretty much came down to that I had a really bad infection and needed to see a doctor. So today Josh, Grace, and bethany(on her last day in Africa) took me to THE SURGERY. YES!!! I KNOW!!!! THAT IS THE NAME OF THE HOSPITAL!!!!! I had to have people come with me just to make sure They don’t get excited and try to amputate my toes, I wanna keep them. So they cleaned out my toes with like Hydro….. Oh wait I’m not Diane and I did terrible in Chemistry. I have no idea what the name is. And then for the antispetic they put honey on the wounds. hahahaha You know you are in Africa when honey is usd for an antispetic. And know I can be a pet for all the nursing majors and med studnts here and they can clean out and address my wounds. After we went to the Surgery the only way back into the city was on Boda Bodaswhich are like these crazy scooters that weave in and out of traffic. I swore I would never ride one but I didn’t really hav a choice. I was panicked the whole time, but fortunantly Bethany was on the Boda Boda with me. I mean Crazy!!!! I was holding onto our driver so tight. And I got panicked when he suddenly for no reason just put on his helmut. All I could think was the end was near. Well I have like no money left. The doctors visit pretty much ook it all. Dang Mzungu doctor. I got a statement for my insurance but that won’t help me for a while. Dang it!!!!! I always gotta have something weird going on with me. I miss my money… But hopefully I’ll be able to walk in a little while. They said if it isn’t better in a week we would go from there. NOT ME!!!!! I’m not going anywhere from there. I’m going home to good doctors!!! hahahaha Why wouldn’t it happen I’m in Africa.Oh, yeah Coach Amy and Will have snuck away to Wisconsin. Got a nice little Email from Caoch Amy telling me. Don’t know why they couldn’t have told us ummmmm like a month and a half ago when we found out. Weirdos. Oh and know what I got to watch yesterday. A very old rerun of Oprah!!!! Oh so nice. It was like the Valentines day episode. Rev. Jim thinks Oprah is Echo’s really close friend and one of the guards at the compound looks just like Taye Diggs and he thinks I know him. HAHAHAHAHA Right I’ll tell Taye ya said hi right after we call Oprah!!Oh, these guys on the comp next to me asked if I was Aulstralian and I pretty much have taken up the philosophy of saying I’m Canadian, so I don’t get cussed out for How bad Bush is with Foriegn Policy, and how Evil everyone thinks he is. Never had a problem cuz no one knows anything about Canada, not these guys. They are studying how Canada Exports and Imports Fruits at this very moment. They started quizzing me on where Fruits in Canada come from. HAHAHA I don’t know where all of America’s fruits come from, much less Canadas…. They are mostly from Belize and Costa Rica, in case you were curious.

This is a random collections of thought, disjointed inside jokes, and memories from my time in Uganda.

As Steven Put it: “Uganda is a country of Randomness!”

In Uganda I found out why the NILE is SPECIAL…

I have learned that if I know a series of grunts, well more sounds actually, and can use an eyebrow raise properly; I can have an entire conversation without ever uttering a word.

I still can’t believe Alia outweighs Farhan. A 122 pound girl shouldn’t have to worry about that!

Echo GET THE BOX!!!!!!!!

If you are in Uganda long enough, being stared at will stop making you feel uncomfortable.

When Ann, Kanayo and I got dropped off about 5 miles from where we were supposed to be it actually wasn’t so bad. On our hike back we saw monkeys everywhere in the trees. Towards the end it was pretty much old hat to go, “Oh there’s another one!”

Logic Problems

“He tries to get out and we draaaag him BACK IN!”

I know now that when you are taking a long bus ride it is only logical to bring your LIVE chicken on with you.

The Cruchy conspiracy theory.

Going away parties….. Especially when the people who the party is for decide not to show up….. tsk… tsk…. Farhan and Alia.

“LOOOOVVVEEE, I am the WINNA!!!” “No! Goodbye lossa!”

The Grace Face:

-Step 1: Look completely miserable
-Step 2: Bite the center of your front lip and crinkle your nose
-Step 3: Continue to look completely miserable.

An Air Force Major and a Mexican attempting to sing Tom Jones’s What’s new Pussy Cat.

Boda Bodas: “Sabo why are you putting ON your helmet?!!!!”

Of course Honey in a Fantabottle is an antiseptic. Having an infection in my toes so bad I can barely walk and they give me honey!

Flavia’s red Sweater

Farhan’s Mansion. Grrrrrr. Had to hear about it and it’s Ice Cream and oh dare I say it…. HOT SHOWERS!!!

Daydreaming about HOT SHOWERS!!!!
BLOODY ‘ELL!!!!!

Carol’s First Day teaching:
“Rule 1 speak in English. NO! Scratch that! Rule 1 NO BEATING each other while I’m around. Rule 2 Speak in English when I am the teacher. WAIT!!!!! Apply rule 1 even when I’m not around.

LOOK!!!! NO HANDS!!!!!

The affect the office had and how it made the Revolutionaries. First Revolutionaries run away, the Second Revolutionaries make us sit in boring meetings.

“SERIOUSLY guys! PROPER HOSTEL etiquette!”

Herd of cattle taking up one side of a 4 lane divided highway.

“CAAAAAAARROOOLL!!!! There. Is. a. LIZZZZZZAAAAARRRRDDD. IN. OUR. ROOM!!!!!!!!!!!!!”

Celine is God!!!
-Kenny Rogers isn’t too bad.
I’m always getting in fights with the P.6 reader: “A WHALE IS NOT A FISH!!!!! IT IS A MAMMAL! GRRRRRRRR! Wait, Do you guys know what a mammal is?”

Half-Six

THE Igloo!
“Oh, Canada”
Daily Cup

I’m an American. I hate showers, and I only wipe down with a napkin.

Grace & Carol Naps.
Since when does it rain longer than a half hour here?
Ø “Shut up Farhan you’re not funny….” “Carol GET UP!” *Blink* *Blink* GLARE “I hate you Inigo. GO AWAY!!!” –Roll over than fall back asleep- *Wake up* “Did I just talk to Inigo?!”

Laying along Lake Buyonyi with Mary a man comes down and lays on the sun bed next to Mary and I. He keeps moving around then says, “I sleep around.”
-Mary and Carol’s faces do not look amused.

LANGUAGE BARRIER!!!!!!!!!!!!

He is the kind of guy who doesn’t have problems because he doesn’t want to have problems.

The way children in Uganda get so excited over being given a book. My mother always wanted that kind of reaction out of her children.

Yeah….. Not so Much.

That bloody turn around outside the Garden City.

I developed a fear of worms I never had at home. They can be anywhere: the water, fruit, your stomach, urinary tract, small intestine, your toes, SWEET TARTS!!!!

Chivalry was invented in MEXICO!!!!

Ugandan time.

Jonathyn with a Y!!!!
For I am Inigo!

Problem Free Furropherry.

ON our crazy ride out to our came site at Lake Buyonyi our driver felt the need to point out that Lake Buyonyi is the deepest lake in Uganda. This was seriously a scary ride up some steep cliffs. My only reaction to him telling us that it was the deepest lake was, “OH good. DEEPEST. LAKE. IN. UGANDA! NO ONE WILL FIND THE CAR!!!!!!!” Then I hugged Grace even tighter.

The Bad Place!

The Lesbian Hooker Kidnapped ECHO!!!!

Rhoda’s Laugh
Brian’s Dancing(Three year old dancing is the best!)
Boris’s hat and comb&mirror
Nurse Ann’s Eternal optimism, “Oh, this is just soooo great!” It was always greatly appreciated.

James, his knife and his food. Oh and you can’t forget the hat!

I should have known better. In order to teach ultimate Frisbee, you should first teach them to throw a Frisbee first.

I have had Meat on a stick shoved into the window of my bus and thought, “Why not?!”

Sometimes watching the crazy people on Oprah can just make your day.

It’s Hokey Pokey! Not Hokey Kokey! Too many British volunteers running around corrupting kids in Africa with their Hokey Kokey!

Jigga Worms.

The Runaways!

Vitamins, Margarine, Aluminum, and Garage. If you are British you are reading each of these words wrong!
-Don’t worry I’m just having a Giraffe.

So a Rich Mexican, a Japanese Girl from Chicago, a Simile Shiite Muslim Canadian couple and a Midwestern Farmers daughter are walking down the road together in Uganda, How many different Races are there? In America there are 4 in Uganda only 1. We are all Mzungus in Uganda.

You give me SWEET!!!!

Netball.

Peace taking a WEEK to put in my thick purple braids, that kind of looked like thin maroon braids.

There is an Irish Pub EVERYWHERE!!!!

Ugandan Shuffle.

Laura and I being crazy Mzungus arguing with a Ugandan Doctor.

“Madam! You are off sides!” “I don’t know what that means, so stop telling me I’m doing it!”

The Land Cruiser

Parcels

Jeeeeeeesus we are Heera!

The Homeless man punching me!

“Hey Pam! I thought of another Musical…..”

Mzungu Corkscrew

No Seriously, Who the Fuck is Alice?!

School fees.

My teaching of Good Sportsmanship was reduced to a chant by the kids:
“Nooo Cheating”
“Nooo Beatings”
“Play by the Rules”

My toes are always red!

Madam China

Lisa’s secret books, looks, and Hand Shakes.

Random Ugandan Guys singing the creepy song “Oh, Carol” to me.

The Huge chunks of Dirt that came out when Erica took out my braids.

Bad Sabo

Dunk, Dunk, Goose

Malaria Test, Pregnancy test…. It’s all the same.

We need to go get the torch to find the parcel, for surely the Parcel will be grand. Getting parcels is brilliant. I never get enough at Uni. I hate minging parcels though, I only want a proper one.

Gossiping with the P.6 and P.7 kids.

Dutchmen on Buses can know a lot about your name.

Rude Rova, Rude Rova

Aunt! Aunt!

Geography, There are about 20 kids in Uganda who know where Lansing is.

THINK FOR YOURSELF!!!!

Boon-ta-koo, Boon-ta-koo

“Madam, We are not cheating.” While holding another students exam.

The Fastest way to get your class to stop talking when you are working on passing drills for basketball is a quick chest pass to the child talking the loudest.

“HERE IS 500 AND YOU KNOW YOU ARE RIPPING ME OFF!”

Biggie Mzungu

Giant!

Godzilla

Hakuna Matata

Hair Straightening being an event.

3 ½ hours at the airport.

Runaway Gracie! You Cry baby!!!!!!

If you are trapped between a hippo and water you are dead.

Exams that ask you to look at the shaded region but yet have NO SHADED REGION!

I’ve seen Fire, I’ve seen rain, I’ve seen HAIL in Africa

Michigan Pride

“Madam it is 2 past 15” “No, it is 15 past 2.”

Chipoti

KEEP THE COCA COLA AWAY FROM HER!!!!

The Muslim triplets

Brisco

Pray to your maker!

Madam High five. high four. high three. high two. high ONE!!!

She always seems nervous.

Emma Just switch me seats!!!!

Shelly’s nasty Nudie Blanket.

Ugandan Elvis.

They’re kicking us out! They are playing Celine Dion!!!!

Alright! We didn’t want you to walk with us anyway!

The sex advice column in the Newspaper.

We can dance. We can dance. We can leave your friends behind. Cuz your friends don’t dance and if they don’t dance their no friends of mine.

Yes I googled everyone.

Are we getting any new volunteers?

Richard’s Lugandan Love songs

I LOVE YOU KAMPALA!!!!

One of the Goal posts fell down so we can’t even play soccer!

Annie’s Generosity

Natalie and I had some great gossip fests about celebrities. And then when that was done about other volunteers. First half of my stay I heard no good gossip, right when I leave it got juicy.

Matatu Park.

Hairy Armpits

Inigo- In ya go

“We can dance for you.” “No that would cost money. We don’t have money” “Bye-Bye”

Why is there Talking? There should be no talking!!!!”

Secret Missions

Maybe he/she is on Larium…. Is accepted as an explanation for someone’s crazy behavior.

And Always remember….. MY HEART WILL GO ON